Through each stage of the child’s life, good parenting practices are crucial for optimal development. In early childhood, parenting makes all the difference. Recent compelling reports from Harvard’s National Scientific Council on the Developing Child (2012) show that how you relate, nurture and interact with your little one will not only impact on his/her emotional well being, but can actually influence the forming of brain circuits (National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, 2012, 2010, 2005). This in turn lays the foundation for the development of various capabilities, and influences future mental and physical well being (National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, 2012, 2010, 2005).
Scientists have found that what is important for the optimal growth of infants and toddlers are supportive and responsive caregivers. The continual absence of basic interactions with one’s young one can produce physiological disruptions, which will impact on learning, behaviour and health for the rest of the child’s life. And these long-term consequences spill over into various areas of functioning such as learning, behaviour and health; staying with the infant, well into adulthood. |
|
Our model
results 2013
536 parents were provided with seven parental skills session (630 hours).
125 parents received a minimum of two one-on-one psychosocial support sessions
(293 hours).
112 parents received a minimum of two job search counselling sessions. Twenty-five
parents found jobs.
30 community up-liftment projects implemented.
13 Parent Support Groups were established.
Our impact
FOCUS GROUP DISCUSSION FINDINGS
PARENTS HAD A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF CHILD
Focus Groups Quotes
'I learnt to listen more and understand the behaviours of boys. ' 'I learnt to look deeper into the problem and not the child: Why is he or she doing that?' 'The session about children at the puberty phase helped me deal better with my 16 year old daughter.' 'Participant has learnt to listen to children. The activity with the marshmallow helped me realise that children ought to be involved in the planning of things. Learnt a lot about the temperament of children.' 'Children are children. Before I was a parent I was also a child. I must try to understand them. They are also a human being. Their opinions are important.' |
Recurring Themes
- Listening skills Better understanding of child behaviours - Better understanding of child behaviours - Better understanding of child behaviours - Listening skills Recognises need to have children’s opinions count - Understanding children / knowledge - Better understanding of child’s perspective |
PARENTS IMPROVED THEIR COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS AND IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS
Focus Group Quotes
'I am now a calm parent who takes time to listen to children. I know a hiding is not always the solution.' 'I do not shout at my child anymore. My child can also relate to me now.' 'I use to give children a hiding. Now I don’t because I have learnt that often when I do that I am not in control of my emotions. I try to share these lessons with my sisters who still beat their children.' |
Recurring Themes
- More composed / Peaceful Listening skills Less corporal punishment Making kids voices count Greater focus on communication rather than physical discipline - Better parent-child relationship Better communication Better understanding - More restraint Better self-control when disciplining Tries to pass on parenting skills to wider family network |
PARENTS IMPROVED CHILD ENCOURAGEMENT SKILLS
Focus Group Quotes
'Always do good things in front of children because they look up to us parents.' 'Learned to always encourage and motivate children' 'Support child’s career aspirations and encourage child.' |
Recurring Themes
- Better role-model - Parenting behaviour: more encouraging / affirming motivating - Child motivation / encouragement |
PARENTS IMPROVED THEIR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CARE
Focus Group Quotes
'She used to be hurt by the smallest of things but now she has the tools to help her deal with those negative thoughts.' 'I realised the importance of “My me time.”' 'Now I acknowledge that I need to look out for my own happiness first before I can support my children to be happy. ' |
Recurring Themes
- Managing emotions. Stronger self-esteem - Self-care - Self-care |
PARENTS BECAME MORE RESOURCEFUL
Focus Group Quotes
'Helped me to know more agencies to find resources when the need arises. I was encouraged to realise that there is someone else out there that can give assistance.' 'Encouraging them to be resourceful.' 'Participant can assist her husband on how to deal with the challenges at home.' |
Recurring Themes
- More resourcefulness Skills in acquiring external support - More resourceful - Passing on skills to extended family members |
storY from the field
Thirty-year-old Candice has lived in Hannover Park, a township in the Cape Flats, her entire life. She inherited the house her father built using recycled materials like cardboard, plastic and corrugated iron. The interior is in a desperate state though, with the carpet laid on bare sand, offering little insulation. Candice and her three children share a space of just 20 square meters and sleep in the same bed. Yet they place themselves among the lucky ones. Most of the houses in this area are not more than 10 square meters, highlighting the overcrowded nature of the townships.
With her home falling apart around her due to age, Candice must do what she can to make the best of her current living conditions – on rainy days she uses pots and pans to catch the water leaking through the roof. Toilets are located outside of the house and shared with neighbours (seven people in total using one toilet). The latter are almost never cleaned and the door has been damaged by the wind. Hygiene and privacy remains to be desired and due to the lack of plumbing there is no shower. To wash, Candice fills a bowl with water. For food, rice and potatoes are a daily staple; they are cheap and fill your stomach, but when Candice has no money, tea will have to do.
An oppressive atmosphere prevails in the townships. Candice never leaves her house without supervision, because the neighbourhood children, many of them part of gangs are constantly on the lookout for easy targets. The lock on the door is a simple padlock and the windows are plastic, so it is very easy to enter the house. It is also risky when Candice goes to bed, as a woman and three children can easily be attacked. The night is never quiet: many people abuse alcohol and drugs, a tell-tale sign of socio-economic degradation. Fighting is part of daily life for people and this is true even for children, who take their cue from their parents. Candice is also afraid that her children´s father will come out of jail and forces her to continue to be part of the abusive relationship.
Candice had been unemployed for two years. The government, however, provides a child support grant of R280 per child, which is barely enough to buy clothes, food and school equipment.
Candice participated in the Family Affairs programme in 2013, this is what she had to say:
‘Before joining Life Choices I had left my job to look after my three children. It is easy to get caught up in being a parent and forget about yourself. I felt isolated and powerless towards my situation. Family Affairs impacted my life profoundly. I had very little information on how to raise my children before I joined. The programme has opened my eyes and given me the knowledge and confidence I needed to be able to raise my children in a stable and loving environment. The sessions I attended gave me the opportunity to know more about myself as a person and more about my children needs. This has made such an impact in my life as now I can deal with situations more positively and I am beginning to make more friends. Life Choices also assisted me to go back to work.’
‘Today, I have the courage to take on leadership roles. I can see now that I am tougher than my challenges and I can cope with any difficulties that come my way. I want to use my experiences to engage with other people in my community and show them that they have the same strength too.’
With her home falling apart around her due to age, Candice must do what she can to make the best of her current living conditions – on rainy days she uses pots and pans to catch the water leaking through the roof. Toilets are located outside of the house and shared with neighbours (seven people in total using one toilet). The latter are almost never cleaned and the door has been damaged by the wind. Hygiene and privacy remains to be desired and due to the lack of plumbing there is no shower. To wash, Candice fills a bowl with water. For food, rice and potatoes are a daily staple; they are cheap and fill your stomach, but when Candice has no money, tea will have to do.
An oppressive atmosphere prevails in the townships. Candice never leaves her house without supervision, because the neighbourhood children, many of them part of gangs are constantly on the lookout for easy targets. The lock on the door is a simple padlock and the windows are plastic, so it is very easy to enter the house. It is also risky when Candice goes to bed, as a woman and three children can easily be attacked. The night is never quiet: many people abuse alcohol and drugs, a tell-tale sign of socio-economic degradation. Fighting is part of daily life for people and this is true even for children, who take their cue from their parents. Candice is also afraid that her children´s father will come out of jail and forces her to continue to be part of the abusive relationship.
Candice had been unemployed for two years. The government, however, provides a child support grant of R280 per child, which is barely enough to buy clothes, food and school equipment.
Candice participated in the Family Affairs programme in 2013, this is what she had to say:
‘Before joining Life Choices I had left my job to look after my three children. It is easy to get caught up in being a parent and forget about yourself. I felt isolated and powerless towards my situation. Family Affairs impacted my life profoundly. I had very little information on how to raise my children before I joined. The programme has opened my eyes and given me the knowledge and confidence I needed to be able to raise my children in a stable and loving environment. The sessions I attended gave me the opportunity to know more about myself as a person and more about my children needs. This has made such an impact in my life as now I can deal with situations more positively and I am beginning to make more friends. Life Choices also assisted me to go back to work.’
‘Today, I have the courage to take on leadership roles. I can see now that I am tougher than my challenges and I can cope with any difficulties that come my way. I want to use my experiences to engage with other people in my community and show them that they have the same strength too.’
A child is like a piece of paper on which everyone leaves a mark...' - A Chinese Proverb